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Published on Chaska Herald (http://www.chaskaherald.com)

Big Fat Bridal Blog: With this ring...I change my name?!?

By Mollee Francisco
Created 04/02/2008 - 3:15pm

Saturday morning I awoke from what felt like a six-hour long dream. It was a wedding-day-preview dream that involved my grandfather (who is performing the marriage ceremony) droning on and on and on despite our instruction to keep it short and sweet. People were dropping like flies at this thing because he wouldn't stop talking (which is not that far fetched of a scenario).

I shared this dream memory with Chad who actually countered with a dream memory of his own (he claims to *never* remember his dreams). He dreamt that we had a big fight over me not taking his last name.

The dreaded last name ordeal has reared its ugly head in conversation a few times of late. It always catches me off guard. When we first started to get serious about our relationship, I believe I was perfectly clear in my intentions to keep my last name. My sister and I are the last Franciscos in our family and are both very attached to the name.

It never seemed to bother Chad before that his future wife would not have his last name. But now it does. He doesn't mean for me to give up Francisco completely, but would like me to consider hyphenation.

Hyphenation? Are you kidding me? I don't want to become one of those people who are always whining about not having enough room on forms to fill out their full names. Please. How embarassing.

But the thing about Chad is that he doesn't argue about anything. It's so aggrivating. Instead, my passive-aggressive love gives me a hurt look and shrugs his shoulders sadly. It always makes me want to punch him right in the gut.

So I got the look and ever since I've been thinking about it. Hyphenation. I wouldn't use it at work (especially because it's the only place that people have ever commented on how cool and writerly my name is) but I guess if a piece of mail came that said "Mollee Francisco-Heinle" I wouldn't freak out.

I'm trying to think about it like this: By hyphenating, I'm not losing myself, but I'm not ignoring this new life that we'll be creating together. That's the only way I can justify it.

In return, Chad has agreed not to pick out a wedding band with diamonds in it. I guess I can handle a hyphen if it means not being blinded by my husband's bling ring for the rest of my life.

TELL US: What do you think about the last name change issue? Did you change your last name when you got married? Why or why not?


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http://www.chaskaherald.com/community/mollee-francisco/big-fat-bridal-blog-ring-i-change-my-name