Big Fat Bridal Blog: The gimme guide

Along with eating cake, creating a wedding registry has to be one of the best parts of the wedding planning process.

It's akin to being asked to put together a giant wish list that you actually have a pretty good chance of getting some stuff from (unlike any birthday or Christmas list that I ever wrote out).

We started the process at Target on Friday night (that's right, we're that wild and crazy). We brought with us a list of stuff we definitely wanted to put on the registry, but had no idea how long this would actually take. In theory, it seemed like a pretty easy thing to walk through the store zapping things that you wanted.

But three hours later, we were exhausted, hungry and a little bit scanner happy. I'm pretty sure the latter half of our list needs to be revisited because there were some items at the end that didn't get the same scrutiny as in the beginning.

Oh yes, at the beginning of the process we agonized over each and every item, making sure that we put exactly what we wanted and needed on the list.

Which sheets? What color? 400, 500, 600-thread count? How many threads per inch do we need in order to sleep well? And how much will our guests be willing to pay to make sure that we do sleep well?

Which lamp base? Which shade? Do we want light directed up or down? Is that shade too big for the end table? Etc.

You can see how we got worn out so quickly. By the time we got to the coveted kitchen section, there were creme brulee kits, parmesan graters and funnel sets being thrown on the list with no discussion whatsoever.

At that point, we knew it was time to call it a night. Next weekend, we'll regroup to create another registry at a department store. Then we'll edit our lists into their final form. Lastly, we'll spread the word that we have our registry done if anyone would like to get us something we REALLY want.

I wish you could create an anti-registry in addition to a registry. While I really want the red Kitchen Aid mixer (which I used to think was automatically added to any registry ever created), I really DO NOT want anything that says "Home Sweet Home" or "Love is Spoken Here" or anything with a saying period.

I also do not want any floral arrangements that are supposed to hang on the wall. Or anything incorporating a seashell design. If you're getting us any of that crap, well then you don't know us very well (and in that case, why are you at this wedding???)  

I know it's not about the gifts. I get that. But if you are going to bring a gift to a shower or a wedding, I believe that you should generally stick to a registry. If you're going to go off-registry, you better know that couple well enough to know what they like and what their style is. Otherwise, they're going to be forced to regift your "World's Best Cook" apron on some poor unsuspecting sap.

I've sat through way too many bridal showers where my friends have had to feign delight at items they were clearly not delighted with. Yes, it's the thought that counts, but if that's true, the gift-giver might as well put some thought into it.